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Alfred Mutua: My last Relationship taught me that there are people who are sincerely predisposed to the simple life, not the money or fame

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“My last relationship taught me that there are people who are sincerely predisposed to the simple life: To sleep and wake up to their partners; to go to their small job and its trifles; to raise kids, to go to church on Sundays,and later die as quietly as they lived. And that’s okay.

Unlike me, she didn’t want the world. Didn’t want the fame. Didn’t care for the money. Not like I did. And in my oblivion, I would wake up at 3:00 am. Sleep at 11:00 pm. To get her all the good things I thought she needed. But instead, I was taking away everything she needed.

I look back & I realize that sometimes we unintentionally impose our visions onto our partners. Never asking what they wanted & deciding whether we can meet it. In my quest for ultimate success, I slowly but surely choked the life out of us. I gained the world, but I lost us.

And back then the question that I would ask myself looking at her was; “how could you be satisfied with so little?” I attributed it to a lack of vision/mediocrity/ignorance. In such moments we forget that these people are adults like us. That they also have their visions.

It bothered me that she didn’t want to expand her boutique. It was doing well, but I am the kind of man who doesn’t know when to stop. I want the world. But at some point, you are going to have to stop and let your partners be. And that if you must proceed, you’ll have to do it alone.

There are partners who don’t want eccentric fame/wealth. They want money, but just enough to keep you guys comfortable. They may support you in your pursuit of the world, but they aren’t a mini you. You’ll gain the world, and lose your heart. I held the world, but I was empty.

One day the world comes tumbling down. And you’ll turn back home, hoping to find your partner’s outstretched arms, only to run into an empty hall. Yes, you’ll rebuild. But you need not have to if you struck a balance. Believe me. You don’t want to be alone on a stormy night.”

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